What's New

A few months ago my daughter passed away. Since then, I have been evaluating what is really important me. I decided that getting my MA in Ancient and Classical History was soemthing I wanted to do. I enjoyed going to college later in life, studying what I love, and the benefits of getting my MA is that when I retire, I can teach part-time and along with my pension and my music life (more about that directly) I will be in pretty good shape.

I also decided that musically I have been running myself ragged and, like I did in 2012, am starting to feel the onset of burnout. The past 15 years I have been leading, fronting, constructing, marketing, promoting, organizing, singing, playing guitar, purchaseing PA gear, setting it up, running it, tearing it down, booking all the gigs (that alone will drive someone insane) and just a bunch of other things basically on my own. If you are a local musician, you know it is not a living and most venues still pay like it's 1985. I wanted to play as much as I could. And in the process completely wore myself out. Something had to change.

So, I decided that instead of being the busiest musician in town, I want to be be a musician for the rest of my life. That meant a change. First was choosing which groups were worthwhile, profitable, and not just filler. I cut those out. Then I decided on one bad (which we are long distances from each other) would only perform maybe 6 times a year and only at the places we already are well received and get paid accordingly. THat makes booking easy. Plus with that band, we never rehearse. We've had 2 rehearsals in 4 years, have well over 100 songs, and the other two guys just know how to play. Again, easy.

I hooked up with another guy that I will basically be his guitarist. Show up, play, easy peasy. After that, everything else was shut down. However, I decided that the solution to my burnout wasnt that I was playing too much, it was that I was doing EVERYTHING! So, I decided the freelance option was the way to go. I play guitar, bass and can sing. I basically offered my services as a fill-in. I have been playing over 40 years and most of the stuff the bands are doing locally I have played 100 times over. I know the material or at least have the skills to learn quickly and come prepared.

That has been a huge move.

My August was initially at 3 gigs this month. Since last week it has filled to 8 as well as further gigs in September and October. I'm filling in on bass for one local band, filling in guitar/vocals for another, and around October a band in the region has already rached out and told me they will be needing someone on bass for gigs after that and would I be interested.

My calendar is filling up, but the beauty is, the majority of these gigs I show up, set up my rig, play, get paid, go home. THAT is what I am talking about. No stress, no extra work, no being in charge. Show up, play music, go home. Sweet.

My remaining boys are grown, one is married, home owner, and is financially well off. My youngest in in college, but lives with roommates, works a job, and is doing pretty doggone good. I'm divorced and live alone. at 60, I can now just focus on ME. Music has, and always will be a very present thing for me. It is in my DNA. History, education, critical thinking, seeking knowledge and deep thoughts about life, the universe and everything, along with my love of technology, has filled my life with enough hobbies to last a life time.

My daughters life was entirely too short. I wish she was here, to grow old and fill her life with the things that would have brought her happiness, just like mine does for me. But because she is not here to do that, I see that as a sign that I have right now, and that I need to live for right now.

Because I don't now how many more right nows I have left.

Wednesday 22 July 2026

12.02pm

I know no one reads this

No one reads this. And that is OK. I feel like I want things to be read, but then I realize, "it doesn't really matter" because the whole point of journaling is for me, not others.

But still, the old BBS guy in me wants some feedback. So instead of making this a long drawn out entry, I'll simply lay out a few things that are going on in my life.

My youngest boy turned 19 a couple days ago. Hard to believe. He is moving into a new house on the campus he goes to school and works at. My little man is a man now.
Tomorrow I got invited by a bandmate who is like my older brother to go see Buddy Guy. I've never seen him, but he is 90 and still touring. The last standing bluesman of his generation. I would be remiss to not go.
Decided to change my major at school from American History to Ancient and Classical History. The main reasons are that there are a couple classes in American history I really have no interest in and see them as adding zero value to my degree (personally, I feel like they are "you have to take these so we can get woke money from woke sponsors").. The calsses int he other coursework are all things that interest me and avoids taking something I have zero interest in.
This changes my research project, but I think I have a good start on what my thesis will be and have already started researching primary/secondary sources.
Decided I want to totally rework my personal website for my novels, short-stories, historical fiction, and added historiography and mythology to the site. Still working on it, but like what I am seeing so far.
Considering joining a band playing bass. I've been getting really burnt out over the years being the guy in charge and just showing up to a gig, grooving to the music without any concern of all the work that happens at the end of the night is... liberating...
It has been stupid hot here the past month. I'm ready for summer to be over and for fall to get here. Really...

And on a last note, two words: fucking gnats!

Tuesday 14 July 2026

8.27pm

My fascination with history just got bigger

As I mentioned in my last post, I was deciding on pursuing my masters of arts degree in history. Well, today I registered for my first class. HIST 500 Historical Research Methods.

I am 60. it is 2026 and I have registered at American Public University (online) to work towards my MA in History. One class at a time that I plan on paying for out of my pocket (OK, from gig money I make performing on the weekends). I am excited and nervous at the same time, just like I was 16 years ago.

This is a new adventure. My reasoning is because I plan on retiring in 3 years (if I sell back my Army time) and would like to teach as a part-time job to supplement my government pension and my weekend gig money. MA is pretty much required for that. So, we shall see how this transpires. First class begins September 7, 2026

I have also gotten knee deep in a project called "Rook and Rune Press LLC" which is and asset engine for historical fiction & research that transforms rigorous historical research into enduring intellectual property. We publish history that is meticulously researched, clearly written, and enjoyable to read.

I created a very good backing system along witha RAG system to provide accurate and detailed historical information from sourced data.

This is still in the growing stages, but I plan to release a PDF writers guide: "The Burning of Lawrence: A Writer’s Guide to the 1863 Massacre" Not a textbook. This is a high-fidelity, rigorously sourced reference PDF designed specifically for writers. Extracted from primary sources and mapped using our proprietary RAG system, this guide provides the hour-by-hour timeline, civilian survival tactics, and sensory details you need to bring Bleeding Kansas to life.

So, history is back with a vengence in my life!

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